Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
