dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
