When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
