our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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