Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
