You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
