so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
