I'm jealous of your bromance
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
