no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
