I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
