I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Houston, we have a blender
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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