ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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