somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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