i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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