guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
