and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
