the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
