I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
