using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
