just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
