Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
we're so committed to being not committed
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
