great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
