standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
