I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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