Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
4 words: hood of his car
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
