Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
