just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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