You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
