Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
