new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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