Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
