Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
