i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i think we sleep fucked last night...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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