they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Drunk is not a location!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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