So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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