what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
