At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
