Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
