you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
