I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
