so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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