She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
