I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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