If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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