She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
