The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
