i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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