Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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