So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
