i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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