His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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